Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
