cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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