Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
