I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
