just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm getting married
To pizza
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