Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
