Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
