I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
