Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
