I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
