STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
