My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i think i just lost a toe
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
