windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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