Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
