Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
