The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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