my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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