i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
