She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
