I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
