We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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