i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
