Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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