Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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