Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
