distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
