Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
