marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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