I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
