how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
