due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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