I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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