I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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