Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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