Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
