Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
there's paper in my vomit.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wish my penis had a tongue
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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