I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
