My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
