He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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