Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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