It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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