I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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