What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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