It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
bring money and cleavage
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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