What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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