I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
