kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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