Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
