I accidentally burped into my bong.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
