Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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